Mercedes' Latest Will.I.Am Collab Is My Sleep Paralysis Demon

Cohesive design is underrated. The cool kids are just mashing parts together

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Often, some of the most interesting vehicle designs come from people who aren’t professional car designers. Graphic or concept artists like Khyzyl Saleem or Ash Thorp have designed some of the most interesting and memorable cars in recent years — despite being about as far from auto manufacturer employment as one gets.

But, it seems the inverse is also true: People who are technically professional car designers can come up with just the worst shit imaginable. Take feeling-haver Will.I.Am, who worked with Mercedes-AMG to create... this.

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Will.I.Am is no stranger to designing cars based on other cars, and even less of a stranger to designing cars that look bad. He’s been in the industry for long enough that automakers should probably know how his designs will end up looking, but that doesn’t seem to stop either party.

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The Will.I.AMG, as it’s called on Instagram, appears to be a typically curvy Mercedes sedan with the front end of a G-Wagen haphazardly pasted on in what we in the business call a Face/Off Scenario. Does it work? God, no.

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It’s unclear what vehicle from the Mercedes stable is serving as the basis for this gruesome chimera, the likes of which Shou Tucker could only dream to achieve. The most logical answer would be the Mercedes-AMG GT 63 SE Performance (real name), for which Mr. Am is already a spokesperson, though the Will.I.AMG seems to have a slightly different rear pillar arrangement. Given the teaser’s dark lighting, it’s unclear how different that shape really is, but it’s likely we’ll find out on Thursday when this vehicle is released upon the unsuspecting public. Presumably to punish us for our sins.

The Will.I.AMG haunts me from the dark corners of my vision, appearing in shadows and jolting me awake from half-remembered dreams, never allowing my soul a single moment of rest or peace. Good luck to you all upon its reveal.