These Are Your Worst Parking Stories

Not exactly my tale of woe, but an awesome vicarious experience nonetheless.

In the days before 9/11, the boldest of us would occasionally attempt to park right at the curb for airport arrivals/departures to quickly find a visitor or help someone get to the ticket counter. In the before times, all you usually risked was a hefty parking ticket. And if you were fast enough, you could get away clean for a quick transgression.

So I’m flying back home to Boston, waiting in the B Terminal arrival lane for a shuttle bus to take me to my car in offsite parking. A practiced master of the craft in a black Benz SEL pulls up to the curb and displays all the proper skills. He pulls up cleanly, tight against the curb, turning his front tires hard into the curb. He hits the flashers, jumps out of the driver’s door with his keys and locks the doors behind him, then bolts into the B Terminal.

A bit flashy, but truly flawless technique. I was impressed. But it was all for naught, for the darkest of parking forces were aligned against him.

Just as he enters the terminal, an airport tow truck turns off the service road and comes up the arrival lane the wrong way to snag that Benz. At the same time, a parking cop walks up with what must have been a mostly pre-filled ticket lacking only which victim would suffer.

The tow truck driver quickly hooks up to the back of the Benz, as the parking cop finishes the paperwork and stuffs a ticket under the passenger’s side wiper. The tow driver climbs back into the truck and quickly yanks the Mercedes first off the curb, then down the arrival lane, again in the wrong direction, crabbing the expensive, Big Black Benz behind him heading for the service road.

All this happens in less than two minutes. The owner of the Benz gets out of the terminal just in time to see the tow truck driver turn around and do a fly-by with the wagging Mercedes trailing behind.

I was truly in awe. It was the most efficient government action I’d ever seen in greater Boston before or since.

Submitted by: jrhmobile

Many years ago now, I went to a movie in the winter. Being that I live in MN, sometimes parking lots become a bit of a mess with ice so you can’t see the lines and people just do their best parking next to someone already there.

So I pull in next to a car and I can kind of make out some lines that I’m between. I couldn’t tell which side I was on, but doesn’t matter. I enjoy my movie and when I get back to my car, not only did someone park on the other side in front of me, someone pulled in and parked behind me! With cars both to my left and right, I was pretty pissed. I’m not a fan of messing with someone’s car, but I really wanted to. The only thing that held me back was not knowing which one pulled up and blocked me in. After waiting a bit to see if someone came out, they didn’t, I was able to do about a 30 point turn and squeeze between a gap in the corner between cars.

Submitted by: Dumahim

I broke my right knee (tibial avulsion) had surgery and was on crutches, had a cast... (i drove 3 pedals with 2 feet for a while. right ankle was able bend, so i had gas, but i did clutch/brake with my left foot, and e-brake if i was on an incline... though i did most of my accelerating with the cruise control functions)

I got to work, parked, went inside. my coworker parked his ford Aspire next to mine. my other coworkers thought it would be hilarious to pick up the aspire and move it all the way over so i couldnt get in my car... i was running late, and when i went to leave, my buddy with the aspire had left with his girlfriend, so he was nowhere to be found.... i sat there a min debating how the fuck i was gonna get in the drivers seat with this cast and shit...

I decided to go in thru the passenger side, undo the e brake pop it outa gear, and push it back (fortunately the lot was pretty flat so it wasnt too bad)... then i fuckin slipped, and my bad foot went down...... it hurt so fuckin bad. fortunately nothing was torn, but i had to take another min or two to come back off that pain. I eventually got the car out, hopped in, and went home. when i came in the next day, i didnt say anything of it, and pretended my buddy in the aspire had already left with his car... the pranksters had gone home by the time i got out there, so they didnt get to watch my struggle, i didnt give them the satisfaction they were looking for.

Submitted by: redneckrob and his flock of Volvos

Our red Cavalier (stock photo above), aka the Crapalier, was parked by the curb in front of my house in Philadelphia, 20+ years ago. The police were chasing a stolen, frozen chicken delivery truck the wrong way up the cross street near our house. The truck hit a car in the intersection, which careened into the line of cars parked on our block. The car in front of the Crapalier was driven into it hard enough that the Crapalier was shoved 5 feet backwards into the car behind. Needless to say, it was totaled. A picture of it did make the Inquirer.

After that, we bought an Outback Sport, which was so much fun. It all worked out.

Submitted by: emilminty drives an E30 and the Fiero is mostly fixed

Let me tell you the story of a man I call Dr Douchebag, and how I and my mother who was undergoing chemo are assholes apparently.

So 1 1/2 years ago my mother was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors caught it early enough, but only because she had contracted pneumonia. As such, she was already weakened, had gotten a handicap placard (very important), and I was running her to chemo every few weeks. The hospital has 6 handicap spots near the sign in area, other parking is probably 20 feet further back.

In February of last year I drive up with my mother to get her lab work done before chemo, it’s cold, blowing, snowing, generally NY weather. I grab an open handicap spot, walk around, help my mother into the hospital like I had done half a dozen times at that point. Labs done, walk back out into the cold, get her into the car, then up walks Dr Douchebag.

He proceeded to tell me that “This is my spot, what right do you have to park here?!” To which I point out the placard, the clearly marked handicap parking sign and the fact it doesn’t say reserved anywhere. He then threatens to have the car towed, and says I don’t look handicapped. I reply no, my mother is, the cancer patient. Then he says “oh she’s probably faking it”. I begin to take my jacket off to beat some sense into him, but the security officer sprints over yelling not to do it. Calming down I hop in the car, put it in reverse and honk the horn. The security officer drags Dr Douchebag away while hes screaming calling both me and my mother assholes.

Submitted by: Drg84

Went from worst to best. Parked on a sketchily narrow one-way in Philly, only private passenger vehicles could safely navigate without getting stuck as cars park on both sides of the street. I park close to an intersection and run inside my apt for 10-20 minutes, grabbing boxes to bring to my car as part of my moving process... while in my bedroom I hear a thunderous cracking sound so I ran outside and saw the whole passenger side/part of the front of my car completely smashed up; apparently a Uhaul box truck came down the street it shouldn’t have (signs posted on every block reminding people about the narrow street), tried to turn at the intersection I’d parked near (legally), and in doing so scraped up the whole side of my car in addition to removing part of the front bumper... And he/she peeled out immediately.

I come outside flabbergasted and unsure what to do, but a good human being sprinted towards me when he saw me standing next to my car; Some good news for a change. He was standing right catty corner from where the truck hit me and was able to get the truck’s license plate number. Gave me every bit of detail I could have hoped for so I filed a claim directly with Uhaul and got a police report for the hit & run within the next couple hours.

Upgraded from an older Mazda 6 to a newer 6, nothing fancy but no out of pocket expenses either. Thanks for the (significantly more than a) love tap, scumbag.

Submitted by: TheresNoCheeksLikeMoCheeks

Back in my college days, I walked from my dorm room to the parking lot to go home (a 2ish hr drive) for spring break. The last time I had driven my car was 3 days prior, and I had parked it at the bottom of a slightly graded parking lot next to a median. A confluence of circumstances occurred in those 3 days; it rained; the rain water pooled under my car due to the grade of the lot and was blocked in by the median; and it got cold. When I got to my car that fateful day, I saw that the two right tires were frozen in 6 inches of solid ice.

Daylight was waning, and my options were running slim; the mass exodus of campus prior to spring break had already started. I called someone from Physical Facilities, who just dropped off a bag of rock salt. Over several hours, I ran buckets of hot water from my dorm room to try to melt the ice around the tires. Eventually the tires broke free, and myself and some good Samaritans were able to rock my car out of the mess I had absentmindedly gotten it into.

A word to the wise, if you ever are in upstate NY with a 10+ year old 240k mileage car with a failing, slipping clutch, know that not all spots in a parking lot are created equal.

Submitted by: Matthew Chedister

Parked my company Avalon in a dimly lit snow filled parking garage on a dark drizzly day, to run into the food court. Came out to the trailer part of a tractor trailer both parked on top on my car, and wedged into the roof of the parking structure.

Apparently some newly minted driver mistook the parking structure for the delivery bay for one of the department stores, and after dinging the front of the truck on the roof, panicked and stress reversed over my car.

It was a company car so I didn’t really care that much. But I did plan on taking a nap before I went into eat. And I’m really happy I didn’t. He kinda hit it on the drivers side and rolled it into a tube like a bloob of playdough.

Submitted by: chewymilk

My first car was something most people have never heard of - a Mercury LN-7 (used) . It was the twin to the Ford EXP. It wasn’t anything special, but I could afford to buy and insure it.

It was a two seater, with a long cargo area under a big glass hatch in lieu of a rear seat. That was lucky for me, because I worked at a mall and there were a few times people parked too close to me on both sides and I’d have to crawl in in the back hatch to get into the car.

I just wish the gas struts that supported the hatch had worked better, never occurred to me to change them out.

Submitted by: Mehphisto

For six years, I supervised parking enforcement and was the first-round for all parking appeals (waiving the inaccurate ones) before a judge would decide. I will never work “parking” again.

That is the worst experience of my life. Not worth it and anyone that does work parking is a lot braver than I am.

But if you want some here are two

I watched a parking attendant basically beg a non-handicap person NOT to park in a handicap spot without a placard/plate. She then told then where a free spot was not 40 yards away. The gave her the finger, shouted a slur and walked/skipped off and then punch the sign and kick over some traffic cones. About an hour later the same person was banging at my office demanding that I fire the attendant for being rude, inconsiderate, and issuing a fake ticket. They acted even more immaturely in my office when I pulled up the parking deck video.

I was also once sitting in my little GEM plastic EV parking enforcement vehicle with an attendant checking in because it was a “special event” assignment. The lot was closed because of a basketball game event parking reserved the lot. We were about 2-3 spots back in a empty lot when a SUV drove up to the entrance, paused, drove through the plastic barrier/sawhorse, t-bone rammed the plastic doors with their bull-guard and then reversed/drove off. (In a state with no front plates and no cameras in the lot, no luck)

Submitted by: FutureDoc

I don’t have a worst parking story. But I do have a BEST PARKING STORY EVER.

A few years ago, on a lovely Saturday afternoon, I was at our local Chapters (large Canadian book store chain). I parked and walked through the lot to the front doors of the store.

Now, I have a special hate for people who park in handicapped stalls, without a placard.

Parked diagonally across two handicapped spots was the biggest pickup truck I’ve ever seen. It was a huge, lifted, black F350. Lots of dubiously useful suspension bits, 22" wheels with low profile rubber, bull bar on the front, all the windows tinted black... you get the picture. The icing on the douche-bag cake? The truck was running.

So, I went into the store, found the Manager (who I know well, and know that he has a disabled child), and say “Hey, want some entertainment on a Saturday afternoon?” He looks out the store front window and instantly picks up a phone.

He had a Bylaws Officer and a tow truck there in under five minutes.

I stayed to watch.

The douche-bro showed up just in time to see the front wheels get lifted off the ground. The dolly for the back wheels was just being placed. He blows a gasket; like zero to unreasonably explosive in the blink of an eye.

He’s angry to the point that he shoves the tow truck driver and took a swing at the Bylaws guy. This instantly escalates to the arrival of two RCMP squad cars and a dog-handler in a black RCMP SUV. The bylaws guy had run the truck’s plate. It came back that the guy was dodgy, so he’d radioed the RCMP and had them waiting close by, just to be safe.

Two cops try to restrain the douche but he’s just looking for a fight. The lead cop tell him he has a choice to make: he can calm his shit down and comply, he can get tased, or he can deal with the dog. It took the dog coming out of the SUV to get him to comply.

Truck got towed (still running), douche went for a ride in a squad car, and the dog got treats and pets.

I heard from the Store Manager that the guy was charged for assaulting a Peace Officer, battery for the shoving the tow truck driver, and illegally parking in a handicapped spot.

Best shopping trip ever.

Submitted by: JohnnyWasASchoolBoy

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